notes
10 lessons from the book "The Difference Between Advising and Shaming" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie highlights the distinctions between constructive feedback and harmful criticism. 1. Intent Matters: Advising aims to help and support the person, while shaming intends to belittle and demean. The motivation behind the words significantly impacts how they are received. 2. Respect and Dignity: Effective advice respects the recipient's dignity and self-worth. Shaming, on the other hand, undermines a person's sense of value and can cause emotional harm. 3. Constructive vs. Destructive: Advising provides constructive feedback that can lead to improvement and growth. Shaming is destructive and often leaves the person feeling worse about themselves without a clear path forward. 4. Focus on Behavior, Not Person: Advising addresses specific behaviors or actions and suggests ways to improve them. Shaming attacks the person's character or identity, making it personal and hurtfu...