NOTES

"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, delves into the psychology of negotiation and offers practical tactics for achieving better outcomes in any type of negotiation, from buying a car to resolving a conflict with a colleague. 

Here are some key lessons you can learn from the book:

1. Mirroring: Building Rapport Through Echoing
By subtly echoing the other person's words and phrasing, you build rapport and create a sense of connection. This disarms them and makes them more receptive to your point of view.

2. Labeling: Acknowledging Emotions to Defuse Tension
When someone expresses strong emotions, label their feelings ("Sounds like you're frustrated") to acknowledge their experience and de-escalate the situation. This opens the door for constructive dialogue.

3. Calibrated Questions: Uncovering Needs Behind Positions
Don't jump to conclusions about what the other person wants. Ask open-ended, calibrated questions ("What would make this a good deal for you?") to understand their underlying needs and interests.

4. The Five Cues: Nonverbal Signals That Reveal True Intentions
Observing subtle nonverbal cues like body language, tone of voice, and eye contact can provide valuable insights into the other person's true feelings and intentions.

5. The "No Label": Turning Resistance into Opportunity
Instead of arguing against their position, simply label their resistance ("That's a no") and listen for their explanation. This often leads to them revealing their true concerns and creating space for compromise.

6. The Elusive Yes: Building Momentum Through Agreement
Focus on finding small areas of agreement ("You're right, this is important") throughout the negotiation. These mini-agreements build momentum and trust, making it easier to reach a larger deal.

7. The Broken Record: Resisting Pressure Without Giving In
When faced with aggressive tactics or pressure, calmly repeat your desired outcome like a broken record ("My best offer is X"). This demonstrates your resolve without getting emotional or hostile.

8. Silence is Your Weapon: Don't Be Afraid to Let Them Fill the Void
Silence can be incredibly powerful in negotiation. Don't rush to fill every pause. Allowing the other person to speak can reveal their underlying motives and create opportunities for concessions.

9. The Ladder: Framing Alternatives to Your Advantage
Present your offer as one of several options on a ladder, with the most desirable option for you at the top and less desirable ones below. This allows the other person to feel like they're making a choice while steering them towards your preferred outcome.

10. The Banana Trick: Leaving Something on the Table
Don't try to squeeze every last concession out of the other party. Leave something small on the table ("I can throw in free delivery") as a gesture of goodwill. This fosters a sense of fairness and leaves the door open for future collaborations.

Book: https://prf.hn/l/9OXyymW

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Guilty Feelings

sometimes doing nothing is something.

According to me What is Mindfulness.